Getting Back into the Swing of Dating
Oh, dating….you remember, right? It might seem like there are few things more daunting than stepping back into the dating scene after you’ve been absent for a few years, but that doesn’t have to be the case. When you approach dating like a chore, it’s likely to become one – and not a very fun one at that.
I found that taking the pressure off myself and experiencing dating as it comes put me on the right track. Once I got over being afraid of getting out there and exposing my somewhat fragile self, I learned that I wasn’t that fragile after all. Here are a few tips to help you find that same kind of confidence and make yourself happy through successful dating.
Take it Easy – Approach With an Open Mind
If it’s been awhile since you went on a date, the worst thing you can do is load on too many expectations. After being with someone for five years I found myself suddenly single. Once I decided to give dating a try, I put so much pressure on what should have been a simple session spent getting to know one another that I completely scared him away.
There are two extremes new daters need to stay away from – being overly cynical and looking for the immediate replacement. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious, just don’t assume that the problems from your last relationship are going to manifest themselves in a new partner. If they do, move on. On the other end, don’t start dating by looking for the elusive knight in shining armor.
Fun Ways to Get Your Feet Wet
Try non-traditional date experiences to help ease you into being comfortable with the whole thing. Maybe pass on the dinner and a movie and just grab a quick coffee the first time out. After that, try a round of miniature golf or maybe a hike. The idea is to take the pressure off the date and help build your confidence, all while making it fun.
Another important thing to learn is to not be afraid to walk away. I dated this guy for a few months and could see it wasn’t going where I wanted it to. Still, I was hesitant to move on, I think mostly out of a fear that I might not find someone else. If your self-esteem is down, it’s harder to meet someone, but that doesn’t mean holding on to the wrong person. Make dating about enjoying yourself. Keep it that basic and let whatever comes after take its course.
